you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
