My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
