For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
