Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
