North Korea, Best Korea!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
