like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
