For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
