we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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