I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
