This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
