if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
