it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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