I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
