There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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