dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
