see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
