So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
