that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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