I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
