the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
