I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
