a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
