Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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