I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
