youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
