There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
