I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
