we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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