omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
