I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize