she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
