Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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