I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
