Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
