How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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