Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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