I feel great
I just peed on a car
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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