seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize