I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
