dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
