ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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