He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
