there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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