So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize