Nicole vs. Life
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
