And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
