we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
