it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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