just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
