there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
