Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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