I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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