Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
