I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Are my feet made of real feet?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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