i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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