I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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