So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
